Check for results

If your relationship approach is working…

In the beginning, the victories may be small. Our children may want to hang out with us a little more. They may disappear into their rooms a little less often. Then, after a while, we might start to notice more conversation, more sharing of information. Our kids will ask us more questions on all kinds of topics. When we ask them questions, they’ll give longer answers because they trust we won’t interrupt, penalize, or judge them. As our relationship progresses, success will become more obvious. Our connection will feel stronger and our children will begin to trust us with new information about their lives. There will be a level of mutual respect that lets us know we’re on the right track.

…or not

There’s no one-size fits all formula for parenting. Sometimes, despite the best of efforts, we won’t see the hoped-for results. There may be distance in our parent-child relationship. The level of trust might be stuck in the same notch, or even decrease. And conversations might continue to occur only on a “need to know” basis. In some cases, our kids may maintain or develop problems with alcohol or other substances. If this happens – or if we suspect it is happening – we will need additional information or outside help. On this website there are recommendations for additional reading, along with a list of contacts for professional support.

Remember: It’s never too late to build our influence and our relationship.